Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Autism, lilacks and dreams about future.

I found myself struggling with writing everyday something about our "everyday struggles with autism". First I thought I was just getting lazy. But now think it is something more than that. My attitude changed. I am not interested in struggle. Not any more. I want us to thrive. No matter what the circumstances.

I did everything I could to help Sebastian running myself worried, sick and ragged. I was getting in debt too. No matter what I did I have never done a right thing and I have never done enough. Good thing is that I have met wonderful people on my way, and it makes me hopeful and full of reverence to generosity of human spirit.

I do not want to scour internet for autism news, that are mostly tragic sad and heartbreaking. I do not want o even hear the word autism. I do not want to hear about another therapy that may be helps and I can not afford anyway. I am not interested in feeling guilty and inadequate and helpless. What is my plan? I am not quite sure yet. Better be something good.

I do everything I can to balance myself and feel better now.

Lilacs in our yard are blossoming spreading an intoxicating smell. I shot picture.

So in conclusion this is a post how lilacs help one mother feel better and even dream about good future.
In spite of the facts, history, and so called reality.
Let it be so.

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