Friday, April 30, 2010

Autism Candlelight Vigil

Type: Causes - Rally
Date: Friday, April 30, 2010
Time: 8:00pm - 8:30pm
Location: Light a candle (safely) at your place with family and friends

Rally up your family and friends and hold a candle in memory of lives lost, battles won, battles defeated, battles fought, families brought together, families unfortunately separated, autism overcome, sleep lost, sleep gained, mini miracles, voices heard, IBI gotten, IBI cutoff, IBI continued, education the way you wanted it granted, education they way you want the way
it WILL be granted - and a candle to YOU the parent, caregiver, grandparent, friend, aunt, uncle, brother, sister and one with Autism yourself - we salute you- today - to end the month of Autism Awareness but to begin anew.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Grounhog days

We live in the middle of city close to vast most industrial landscape in Canada I suppose, and you can see what I mean here, here or here.
Yet, Canadian wildlife is so vibrant our little yard is filled up with it. Squirrels chase each other on electric posts, birds chirp all day, raccoons visit at night. Lately we are visited by groundhog. No, he is not just a big rat. He comes to feed on dandelions. We really like him.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

More sick days

Sebastian waken up today with boogers in his nose and green crust covering his eyelashes. He was so weak that he did not even get off the bed. He did not want to eat anything. He was in worse state than on Monday. So we went to the walk-in clinic, and the doctor confirmed Jannell's diagnosis of the stomach flu that has been going around. The doctor told us it could last up to seven days. We came back home reassured. I keep Sebastian well hydrated, and fed him chicken soup and a somewhat customized BRAT diet (minus rice, minus tea and substituting apples with apple sauce)
I hope he will get well soon.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Sick days

We went to see the fireworks on Friday night. They were spectacular! Sebastian liked the lights, but the noise was a bit too much for him.
He threw up in the middle of the night and had a diarrhea on Saturday. He was better on Sunday but not eating much, and very weak. I decided to keep him home today and it was a good decision because his diarrhea came back. Now I am stumped again. Is it a flu? Is it something more serious? So for now I keep him hydrated, watch , and hope he will get better.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Civil disobedience workshop I missed

The Liberal newspaper in York Region has published this account of ARO's introductory seminar on civil disobedience:

I missed it this time, but sure will try to make to the next workshop.
In the article they mention that a possibility of being arrested was discussed. It never occurred to me. I can not get arrested. Who would take care of Sebastian?

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Chicken skins

That is what 22 pounds of organic chicken skins looks like. It will make months worth of chicken fat for frying for us. Yum!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

ARO’s civil disobedience seminar

I really wanted to go. It is very sad that parents have to resort to civil disobedience since no other avenues seem to bring any results. But on the other hand it is exiting. After years of writing letters, dealing with uncooperative bureaucrats, reluctant politicians, the entire "system" saying NO! NO! NO! Now it is time to release all that frustration and do something creative, clever irritating, and maybe even fun?

So, I really wanted to go. And right when it was time to do so, Sebastian had a huge meltdown. His allergies are so acute now that even the regular antihistamine dose is not preventing it. I could not leave him in that state, or take him with me. He calmed down after taking more allergy medications, but it took about forty minutes or so, and it was too late to even be late, and so we did not go. Bother.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Monday, April 19, 2010

World Autism Awareness Day Bill

So they know. Our parliament members. They know about the national autism crisis. They know about families struggling. They know about waiting lists.
Will they do something about it?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

All is well

Some time ago I read a book by Eckhart Tolle "The Power of Now". He describes there how after years of acute depression he spend a couple of years doing nothing, just sitting and watching the world go by. I am far from finding the state of my inner bliss, but I feel like doing nothing, just looking at our plum tree, birds and squirrels. And I would like to fall asleep and wake up in a world where autism is just an obsolete word, or maybe even something that never never existed. I am not kidding. I am so very bored by the absurdity of it it all.

And I am not inspired or frightened into doing anything at the moment. And since I am not inspired, I think it is better to do nothing rather than commit to random actions. Yet time goes by and the situation calls for a drastic change, and the urgency does not cease.

I am looking at the plum tree that slowly turns from white blossom to green foliage. All is well - I try to think - all is well.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Flower petals

We walk on delicate white flower petals. Like in heaven.

Now all we need is divine inspiration. We need to know and decide what to do next?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Bride like plum tree and stiming

Sebastian's behaviour and mood improves steadily. He is much calmer now. Instead waking up crying he giggles before he opens his eyes in the morning. He giggles a lot all day to my utter delight. But days vary, and sometimes he stims more, and sometimes almost not at all. Today he stimed very intensely after he came from school, and that is in contrast to quite a few very calm days when he was sick at home. I wish I had a sixth sense and was able to figure out what happens with his little body.

He grows now, and his front teeth are loose. He still has eczema periodically. I want nothing more but for him to be healthy.

Thankfully Sebastian did not show allergic reactions to our plum tree blooming so beautifully.

I couldn't help myself but post those pictures.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Plane crash

I do not watch the news.
Can you blame me? Most of the time the news is tragic, and hardly ever relevant to our life. I got tired of listening about accidents, murders and robberies committed hundreds and thousands of kilometers from where we live. I got tired of listening about things that do effect me but I have little or no influence over like pollution, corruption, wasting of taxpayers money, increased costs of living and other doom and gloom stories. I realized that news is a consumer product. And watching the news is like eating fast food everyday. It will make you sick like eating fast food everyday does in the Super Size Me documentary movie. I still watch too much TV in my opinion, but I hardly ever watch the news.

This morning I called my mother, who lives in Poland. I did not know anything about the crash of the airplane filled up with Polish officials, including the Polish President. One of our village natives, a retired dentist was in the plane too. I still had a headache--a bad one--and could not quite comprehend what my mother was saying. What tragic and strange news. I cannot think of another time in history in which a country lost so many members of the elite at the same time (during peace time).

We are used to sameness, to one day being similar to the previous day, but our reality can change very quickly and unexpectedly.

Saturday, April 10, 2010


I am surviving a stubborn headache the last few days. Sebastian feels good, he is full of giggles and smiles. Most importantly, the weather improved. We have fantastic early spring this year. I hope I will feel better soon. There is so many things to do.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Sick days

Due to pinkeye, Sebastian stayed at home on Tuesday and Wednesday. On Thursday I decided to send him to school, but they called me almost immediately saying that pinkeye is contagious for ten days and that Sebastian's eyes looked pink. I picked him up and we went to the park although it was raining. In William's, our favourite couch was free so Sebastian had fun sliding from it. I had my fun too having coffee, and we went home. He is getting restless at home - naturally. Feeling for him, I let him run outside on the yard. He comes back wet, cold and muddy but carrying the biggest smile splashed across his face. We change his clothes - a welcome opportunity to practice this life skill - and after a short wile he wants to go outside again. It is cold and rainy and has been since Tuesday. We need the sun to come back.

There are things to be done and decisions to be made that are lurking at me from everywhere - I am not ready. I think I will take some sick days too and do and decide nothing or as little as possible for few day.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Sebastian is seven years old

The last few days I felt a little less energetic than normal, probably due to the pink eye and all. I was hoping that I would catch a little wave of inspiration in the very last minute and be able to come out with something maybe low key but nice do do for Sebastian's birthday. I felt like celebrating a little. On his previous birthdays I didn't. I couldn't stop thinking about what he should be able to do while passing his milestones. I wanted to stop comparing him to other kids but I couldn't. And when I did I cried, cried and I cried.

Now Sebastian is happy most of the time and much fun, and smiling so brightly that nothing else matters in that moment. We harvest these moments. We have been starved of them for a long time, so when they come, those giggles and hugs, and beaming smiles, time stops and we take notice.

I thought that the pinkeye came and went away, but I was wrong. It came back thanks to all those unhygienic ways of ours. I woke up in the morning with both my eyes itchy and shut closed. When I finally got my eyes open, I saw through the fog on one eye. I did not look very pretty. Sebastian seemed to be OK, only because I did not see well. His eyes were also getting red again. so we went straight to the local Health Centre. We did not have an appointment, but we were seen by our very friendly nurse practitioner. We came back home with two tubes of antibiotic eye ointment.

The ointment did wonders to our eyes, but I did not feel like going out much. We would be spreading the pinkeye around, but the weather was just fantastic. We stayed in our yard. basked in the sun, listening to the birds and looking at our flowers. Sebastian was at his happiest. It was warm enough that I could take his shirt off for some power vitamin D compounding. The unusually warm weather for this time of year was the best gift Sebastian got for his birthday and it came straight from Heaven!

Happy Birthday Sebastian!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday was the warmest record breaking Easter since 1963. So we had the nicest Easter since I was born. Sebastian was enjoying the yard, and I was quite happy to watch him and trying to encourage him from time to keep his shoes on. He would kick them off after a minute.

My neighbor Irene came with chocolate eggs for Sebastian. Later in afternoon she came back with her daughter and grandson carrying Easter dinner plates filled up with food. We sat at the yard enjoying the gorgeous weather and watching the boys play. The good times.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Easter Saturday

In Polish tradition Easter Saturday is a day to take to church and have it blessed there food that will be eaten on Easter Sunday breakfast. So processions of Polish Catholics march to churches with baskets filled with painted eggs, sugar lams, sugar chickens, and must-haves: salt and bread and piece of horse radish. Baskets are decorated and very colorful and very pretty.
Our basket was minimalistic and understated, but still a valid Easter basket.

Sebastian was a perfect trouper and we were able to visit without major incidents three stores and a church.

After we came home my friends dropped in with an unexpected visit. Our home was in its CHAOS and that is an acronym for Can't Have Anyone Over State. Our home is in that state often I have to admit and I am bothered by it and always embarrassed about it. Even when in considerable order my home is not set to have company, and so I was happy to see my friends, and was happy when they left. I hope to set up some space outside so at least for the summer I will have some space to sit and chat when I have another round of unexpected visitors.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Four pink eyes

All last week Sebastian was a bit lower energy, bit cranky, but his eyes were bothering him, they were red, so I was giving his some antihistamines for allergies. I kept him at home for a day, but the next day I have send him to school. He did not complain much.

I wake up today with one eye closed shut. I could not open it at all. It startled me a little. Now it is a time for graphic details: the green discharge from my eye glued my lashes together. I washed it off and when my eye opened it was pink inside. The pinkeye. That what was bothering Sebastian all week and not allergies. He had a little green discharge in his eyes, but not much at all, and both of his eyes got pink at the same time. So I thought it were allergies. His eyes look good today, not red at all, but my second eye is itching. If I knew that he had pinkeye I would not send him to school since it is contagious.

It was 25C , 70F outside today. The sudden wave of very warm air came from nowhere suddenly. My neighbor Irene took Sebastian to waterfront Pier 4 Park. I have fantastic neighbors! Irene said they had a great time and Sebastian wanted to jump into the water. I think I have to start bringing him to the pool.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Autism advocacy group increases pressure on provincial government

I wanted to go and meet with everybody, but the ARO press conference was set at 9:30 and I would not be able to make it after I send Sebastian to school, and taking him with me is entire different game plan, and I wasn't ready or feeling up to it. I missed the six o'clock news, so I do not know if the press conference made it there. But I found few articles about it:
Canadian News Wire Autism advocacy group increases pressure on provincial government
Toronto Star : Fed-up parents push for action on autism services
York Region : Autism group prepares Parents of children with autism step up their fight for services