Monday, November 9, 2009

Stay sane.

Last night Sebastian woken up in the middle of the night, and came to find me. I lay down beside him. He was whining a bit. I could hear his stomach grumbling. He must have been woken up by his belly hurting. He had diarrhea last night. I can only suspect what the reason was, but I do not know for sure.

Yesterday he was stiming all day very intensely, and he had one of his mysterious allergy attacks. I was burning twigs in the yard in a little barbecue. He was watching it and tuning around to warm himself from all sides. Maybe it was the smoke that caused the attack.

After I put away the down duvet and washed all the sheets he fell asleep peacefully, and considerably early.

I think he acts up initially because of his discomfort, and yet after few of those episodes, he begins to act up from other reasons.

People in crisis do not think about the future, but live day to day. I have lived like that for years now--except on the days when I live hour by hour. Very often, a few times a day, I live minute to minute. My immediate goals become surviving another tantrum, keeping Sebastian safe, keeping everybody else around him safe, finding a solution, finding the way, staying calm, patient and staying sane.

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