Monday, November 30, 2009

At Queen's Park - day 76

The weather is sunny and so perfectly crisp. it is impossible not to smile and not to be in a good mood. Truck drivers are here to protest against 11-week driver testing strike. I am making pictures with my laptop since I misplaced my camera so effectively that I can not find it to this day. I hope I did not leave it on the roof of my car and parted with it for good.

Last night when I was cooking, I found on TV "Dog Whisperer". What a great show, and what a great guy! I saw the other dog training show before, but that dog trainer was doing more of the dog owner bashing - not that they do not deserve it most of the time. Cesar is different. He is gentle and funny. He talks a lot and demonstrates how dogs are very tuned in receptors and amplifiers of owners energy. Nervous owner will make nervous dog. Cesar talks a lot about "energy" people bring into the situation.

I was wandering what kind of "energy" I am bringing in into this world. And what Sebastian feels when he is around me. I think I bring a lot of frantic frequencies. I am doing this and this and that, and nothing really comes out right. I am fearful too. And universe proves me right, my fears and apprehensions prove themselves to be justifiable.

I know I should be calm. But it is hard when I can not concentrate and even remember what is the next thing I should do. In moments like that I resort to doing whatever I stumble upon. It creates problems, because important things often are not getting done on time. It is very scary way of living too . Like swimming in muddy water. But there are days when fog lifts up, and I feel past and future, and I remember, and I think for a moment that I can conquer whatever I have to conquer. Unfortunately those are sill only a fleeting moments, but they come more often now. I need to have more of those moments if I am ever going to be successful leader of the pack, even though the pack is the small one - Sebastian and I - we have a lot to overcome.

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